Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
