Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dick very happy bro
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
