I wish I could teleport
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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