Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize