I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
