Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
