it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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