Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
