It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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