office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
