You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
