Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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