You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
