She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it was like eating out sand paper
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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