i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
