Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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