why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
