If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
