During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
