Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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