don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
