But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
