Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
