She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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