Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Your tits are I can't wait for
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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