So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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