Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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