she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
