my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
