so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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