My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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