Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Duck Duck Cougar?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
