he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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