I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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