So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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