You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
