I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
