Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
