2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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