Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize