This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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