the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
