How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
