I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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