Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
