I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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