too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
