problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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