Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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