OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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