Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize