We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
