Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
