i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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