Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
