she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
