You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
