I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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