the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
