haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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