Its about making memories worth repressing
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize