the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
