look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize