You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
