Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
