my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She told me I should be a condom model.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize