you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
