This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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