Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
