so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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